M could have so easily died in the accident. He could have been left in the limbo of a vegetative state. I don't know why this loss had to happen to us. God grants us all free will and terrible things happen as the result of our decisions or the decisions of others.
Knowing my husband's being here on earth, slowly but surely improving, is a gift from God sustains me. From a purely psychological point of view, I can choose to wallow in pity or see this as a challenge to which we all can rise. I choose the latter and thank God he is with me and daily ask for wisdom and strength.
Today our Challenge social worker and neuropsychologist reviewed the results of M's neuropsychological assessment. As we all knew, M suffered tremendous damage to many areas of the brain, leading to significant cognitive impairments. The brain heals so slowly, there still many months of significant changes to come, merely as a result of healing. In addition, even with severely impaired brains, the brain injured can relearn skills such as problem solving and learn new ways of coping, using aids for memory, for example. Deficits remain, though, even for those with much less severe injuries.
For now M is too impaired cognitively, too foggy, to make use of the Challenge program. In addition, he requires more one-on-one support than offered by Challenge, where all but the PT and OT sessions are group sessions.
I've decided instead, with the agreement of our Challenge case manager, to take advantage of a state-funded program that will provide 120 hours of occupational and physical therapy after the paltry 20 hours his health insurance offers is exhausted. We can do that at the same TIRR facility, with therapists who specialize in treating persons with brain injuries. Concentrating on the physical side will increase M's physical safety and competence, while giving me more time to concentrate on intense one-on-one work with him. I'll guide Mark through problem-solving, coping with perseveration, developing a routine to get through the day, and addressing lack of initiation. The social worker and neuropsychologist seemed to think that within the year Mark would be able to return more profitably to Challenge. In the meanwhile, they and I will try to find a neuropsychologist who will consult with me to carry on a program for M.
Please pray for wisdom and strength for me, understanding and support for the children, and healing, miraculous healing, for M. I pray too that God's love shines through us, that all is to his glory.
6 Praise be to the LORD,
for he has heard my cry for mercy.
7 The LORD is my strength and my shield;
my heart trusts in him, and I am helped.
My heart leaps for joy
and I will give thanks to him in song.
Psalm 28, NIV
