Recently I asked dh to help find something our son lost. A few months ago, ever agreeable, he would say "yes, I'll help," then he promptly would sit down without making ANY effort to do what he said he would do. He since has progressed to where he would have made a cursory attempt, but not stay focused or on task. Now, though, he agreed and then immediately went to our son and asked him where he last had the notebook. Dh systematically looked in all the likely places, persisting until I told him to not bother anymore. (We still haven't found the notebook!)
And another - one of dh's chores is to unload the dishwasher. Each morning, ten minutes after unloading it, he won't remember. So when I ask about it, dh will go and unload it again, even if the dishes are now the next load waiting to be washed. He's on a single track, "unload the washer," and doesn't catch on to whether unloading makes sense (such as when you're putting a peanut butter encrusted knife back into the silverware drawer).
But yesterday, when dh was unloading the washer, he picked up a bowl, showed it to me and remarked, "This isn't clean, I'll put it back in to be washed again."
Just a few days ago, when he was at his sister's, he observed a disagreement between her and her 18 year old daughter. After the teenager left, dh made appropriate empathetic remarks to his sister and noted we're about to have a teenager in our house, too.
And dh spontaneously remembered, without ANY prompting, that our son had to be at church early this week for his baptism, remembering about 6 days after Mark last heard the schedule.
I'm very grateful for all these signs of progress. Especially grateful since I am making a conscious effort to turn dh's recovery entirely over to God. Dh and I have been working very hard, but I've come to acknowledge that our hard work isn't enough. In some ways, I feel as though I had been getting in God's way, picking up burdens that are not mine to bear. And God has been very good to us.
