I jumped up and down this week at the news that M was able to lift the thumb of his left hand in therapy. His therapist told me, not M, who had forgotten and/or not held this accomplishment in mind as anything special, one little incident indicating how profound and total brain injury can be. The emotional response most of us feel to events, the ability to reflect on experience and recognize its relevance to our lives, M lacks for the most part for the time being. I can say "for the most part" because M is still making progress in leaps and bounds.
Flashes of self-awareness, that the brain injury has affected the survivor's abilities, indicate a big milestone in the recovery process. And M has started saying things such as his memory isn't working very well and that his body is in terrible shape, showing that he is becoming aware of himself. Even further, he is showing an awareness of others' feelings. He turned to me a few nights ago and asked me if I loved him. When I answered yes, of course, why would he ask, he answered that I deserved to be protected and cared for. I was stunned, but able to answer in all truth that we both are sheltered by God.
M's memory, both of events before the accident and since, is returning. He consistently remembers, for example, that he is in TIRR to recover from a traffic accident and that he is right now working on making a pizza with a couple of his therapists. Some have asked about his recognition of people. From the beginning of his ability to let me know, he has always recognized his family members and always has known he has two children, even in the early days when he thought he was still 24 years old. He also recognizes people he had gotten to know just a few years ago and those he has met since being at TIRR.
Others have wondered about our financial circumstances and what lies ahead. M has health insurance, but his group coverage will end before the end of the year. At that point, though I don't have the details, our only option will be to join the state's high-risk pool. I will try to find individual insurance for the children and myself. My office does not offer health insurance as a benefit.
Two years from now, M may qualify for Medicare, if he qualifies for social security disability. I've started the application process for the latter. Mark will be deemed to qualify he is judged to be unable to work in any capacity for a year or longer. His doctors have advised me that is their prognosis for M. But the ss administration will keep a medical hold on M's file for at least several months as he continues to recover.
At this point, M's lead doctor is recommending that, after TIRR, Mark go on to a residential rehabilitation program in Galveston, the Transitional Learning Center, to learn self-care and cognitive coping skills. As much as I want him home, I am realizing more and more how much M needs to learn, but more positively, how much he can learn. We don't know yet if he would be accepted into the program, if the insurance will pay, and when he might go.
Another resource will be available to us in the fall. M is on the waiting list for comprehensive rehabilitation services through the state's Department of Adult Rehabilitation Services. Knowing the paltry level of social services offered in Texas, I'm surprised that such a program exists, but not surprised to know that it will be six months before the program will have sufficient funds to offer services to M. Of course, any expenditures now will not be reimbursed.
As for expenses, without the bills from the hospitals Memorial Hermann or TIRR (over two months of hospitalization), Aetna's accounting has us owing more than $20,000 to doctors alone. M will have a custom wheelchair that may cost us several thousand dollars out of pocket. And our living expenses, without any medical expenses, exceed my income. I am profoundly grateful for friends and family members who already have given us financial support in so many ways, not just cash, but services and meals and other expenditures. Then there is the Herculean effort BVD is putting into a fundraiser for M. In early days, I thought that would be icing on the cake, but am now realizing how important every dollar will be. Regardless of stories about wild spending sprees at the expense of the poor credit card companies, the majority of U.S. bankrupties are precipitated by an incident of illness or disability. And middle class persons with insurance are more likely than the uninsured to owe more money and go bankrupt in such circumstances. (Maybe it is in all truth because we get more services.) More sad statistics, most persons with severe brain injuries go bankrupt and, if married, have a 75% chance of getting divorced. I resolve that, as much as I have any ability to determine things, we will not add to those statistics.
I'm actually getting excited at the prospect of being the family breadwinner (when I'm not daunted and scared witless). Two books I devoured in the course of two days have helped me immeasureably: Where is the Mango Princess?, by the wife of a brain injury survivor and Over my Head: A Doctor's Own Story. I highly recommend both.
In this season of resurrection and new life, I give thanks for all of you, for your prayers, and the possibility of new life for all of us. I pray for God to be glorified and for the good news to spread far and wide.
And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:17-19
Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death— even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. Philippians 2:5-11
