This stands as one of two oracle-like statements I have heard repeatedly; the other one being, "Prepare yourself for a marathon, not a sprint." But I am one that has to experience these things for myself rather than take things as pronounced. So far, however, both seem to be true. And, even at nearly two months after the accident, these are still very early days. That too is very hard to believe and to take.
M's getting better means that he is frustrated and feels confined (without understanding he is and why). He's angry when I don't take him back to his room (where he will ask 30 times in 30 minutes to go to bed, telling me to get out of the way; no, go over there; now, get me up....) Being in his wheelchair a very long time every day builds his endurance. But, being in a hospital with noises and interruptions and even because of his injury, sleep at night is short and fitful. So he is tired and he is bored. His attention span is very short, so reading or even watching TV fail to entertain (or if you're anti-TV like me, fails to stupify).
I take him 'round the hospital to redirect his attention, but he gets so frustrated, he tells me to get in the chair, so he can get up and push me, and tells me and tells me....
To keep him (and many of the other patients) safely in his chair, the buckles on the seatbelts can only be opened not by a special key, but any thin sharp object such as a pencil. He's smart enough (again evidence of a good thing) that he knows this and he now fashions his own tools to open the buckle. If he should succeed (pray not), he would fall, a very serious but common risk in TBI (traumatic brain injury) patients.
He perserverates about bed less when he is away from his room, so I'll wheel him out to the day room, but he is so strong that he can DRAG the wheelchair, brakes locked, back to his room.
Please pray that these behaviors pass quickly. Please also pray that I not be afraid. I'm very concerned about my ability to cope with these behaviors at home, the children's responses, and my ability to find a caregiver who will cope adequately. I pray to always be reminded that the problems now may soon pass, though the perserveration about bed has lasted for a week now. Pray for wisdom for me and pray that we will emerge with a stronger marriage and stronger family ties.
Psalm 121
A song of ascents.
1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.
