Survivors

Mark's first horse show in years
Top Hands at the Houston Rodeo
2nd in English equitation!



And as soon as we came home, we trimmed and hauled limbs for heavy trash pick up next week. I did the artistic work (the trimming) and Mark did the heavy lifting.
I joked that I'm the ATV (able to get around in the grass easily) and Mark's the Ferrari, very much prefering concrete. Unfortunately, the gearbox is broken and he's stuck in the lowest gear.
He hauled all these limbs.



Here's some more survivors. I have under one crepe myrtle snapdragons and pinks that hung on last summer, after being planted in early 2008. Under another crepe are several native violets.

Dozens of cilantro plants have sprung up all over the yard since the mama plant died last summer.

And the loropetalum (Chinese witch hazel) throbs in full, hot pink glory.

New stuff and some old, too

New recumbent trike - very cool!

Some of the rest of us....

See below for thirty years ago!

Executive (dys) function revisited

Getting out of bed, starting the daily routine, making plans for the day, returning to the routine if interrupted or distracted, moving onto the next item, striving to conclusion, and recognizing when a task is complete; these are some of the "executive functions" of the brain. Recognizing when efforts are going well or seeing problems ahead and then problem solving or changing plans on the fly; all are tasks for the brain's frontal lobes (the seat of executive functioning). The frontal lobes enable us to persist in the face of difficulties or discomfort and to tolerate frustration. When we remember to pick up the dry-cleaning on the way home and to make plans for a birthday next week, when we notice a friend's new haircut and then remark on it, when we go on to express empathy for that friend's sick relative then pick up social cues that it's time for the conversation to move on; that's also all executive functioning. Your well-working frontal lobes allow you usually to think before you act and enable you to use self-talk to control behavior and direct future actions. When you've finished the day pleased with what you've done but ruefully vowing to go back and work on the items you put off, thank your frontal lobes for serving so faithfully.



Mark has largely lost all of this. But I know, and researchers agree, that with effort and activity, persons with brain injuries can regain functions. Mark has goals. He wants to improve physically, to be a better husband and father, to cook, and more. He just can't get there from here without God's divine power and grace and, I think, without friends who will share their lives and share his.

New Year brings new accomplishments

What a difference a year (or more) makes! When Mark first came home, he was unable to figure out why the toaster wasn't working when the unplugged-in cord was laying on the counter. Six months later, he might work on something requiring persistence for five minutes, only if I were in the room, and only if not distracted. Last week, these arm cycles arrived (one for my dad, who's had a stroke, and one for Mark). Without help and without my even being in the house, Mark spent a half-hour assembling his. This morning, he put together the one for my dad.

After the huge blow in nearly losing Mark, losing both our incomes, and truly losing him in his roles as husband and father, this fall brought even more loss. My dad, who used to spend weeks at a time here helping us, suffered a major stroke, leaving him nearly speechless in a wheelchair. Mark's mother, another pillar of support for us, had major surgery requiring months of recovery. And at least four other families and individuals important to me and the kids, providing daily acts of service for us, all moved out of state. Three of the four moved out of the country. I felt the blows raining down while the ground was cut out from under my feet. I've tried to trust God and am truly grateful, but I felt more and more alone.

Resilience and faith wins out, though, helped with a resolve to look forward rather than behind (as much as I can). Mark's mother has recovered to the point that, even at nearly 87, she could entertain Mark for two weeks. With this break and the advent of the new year, I've thought intensely (and should have prayed even more) about my goals for Mark this year. I've decided on three: to help Mark regain self-determination, to help Mark relearn or reimplement how to connect with people in a meaningful way, and to help him develop or maintain his physical status to the point he can do what he wants to do. For me, the most important goal I have is to get help for me and our children.

I've decided, or realized, or have had revealed, that I must move from being taskmaster for Mark to facilitator, companion, and friend.

Here we are working on movement together preparatory to working on all the goals noted above.

So far as motor skills are concerned, Mark has the greatest difficulty with his left side (meaning the right side of the brain). See below and compare to the video right below this one.

Mark finds it easier to move his right side, though his poor balance and spasticity in his hips and thighs affects his use of his entire body.

Control of impulses and attention remain a great challenge for Mark. Here he's distracted by our dog.

Blessings all and have a wonderful 2009!

Tiki's tops!

Though she's looking relaxed here, Tiki's quite a mover. Mark rode at the trot for the first time in years yesterday! And he'll be riding Tiki on the trail ride, too.

Winning Races

Yeah! My guy's a winner at many things, but two recent victories stand out. We've been raising money for SIRE's Rideathon. We worked our way, thanks friends, onto the list of top fundraisers, so my guy gets to ride a trail ride at 7IL Trails in Cat Spring, Texas. We celebrated our 10th anniversary with friends and family at a horse show just down the road in Bellville many years ago.

Even better, Dear Husband walked his 6 minute test 30% faster this month than last. And his scores on the Berg balance scale improved by 20%. His reward? Another month of training twice a week using the Loko-mat.

Loco for Lokomat

My guy's been cleared to have therapy using the Lokomat, a robot-assisted walking system. In the video below, you'll first see a a screen with a simple smiley face. The bigger the smile, the more correctly the client is walking.

Hurricane Ike Has Done Come and Gone

Last Friday in tromped a loud, obnoxious party crasher who refused to leave and really trashed the place. Every house, street after street, sports several chest-high piles of limbs and leaves. Amazingly enough, few houses right by us had more than minimal structural damage.

We weathered the storm rather well. A privacy fence blew down and the neighbor behind me lost the crown of his pecan, which landed in our yard.

Friends and neighbors helped us prepare, Mark and the kids stayed calm and slept through the night. We lost power for for about 36 hours. Many friends and neighbors still lack electrical service and are not expected to get it until the end of the month, so we have been charging cell phones, providing ice, meals, fridge space, and internet access.

Please pray for all those displaced, those who have lost everything, those whose jobs are gone, and all those who are working 'round the clock to help get everything working again.

New school year

Schools about to start for the kids and it never ends for M and myself. Thank goodness, I'm still seeing lots of progress. When the children returned home after a trip with relatives, M spoke with our son. Initiation of conversation with more content than a polite social nicety, accurately keeping track of where the kids were, neither would have happened as recently as a week or two ago.

M also consistently follows his morning routine, a list of some seven items. He's much better able to control his reactions to unfortunate events (such as a vase falling off the entertainment center).

one of my favorite passages -

Philippians 4 (NIV)

4Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

Working

Dh's taking on more responsibilities around the house and is more able to keep himself on track in those activities. Now mowing the back yard has been added to his list of things to do.

Before the accident, dh loved to read, but had little opportunity between 70 hour work weeks (he often worked 7 am - 7 pm M-F and another 8 hours on Saturday) and work at home. I'm so tickled that dh now makes our family of readers complete. Today he finished his first book in 15 months: Don Piper's 90 Minutes in Heaven. Here's what's written on the back cover:

On the way home from a conference, Don Piper's car was crushed by a semi that crossed into his lane. Medical personnel said he died instantly. While his body lay lifeless inside the ruins of his car, Piper experienced the glories of heaven, awed by its beaty and music. ... 90 Minutes in Heaven encourages those recovering from serious injuries and those dealing with the loss of a loved one.

Much of the book chronicles Mr. Piper's struggles recovering from his injuries and learning to live life as a person changed inwardly and outwardly. Clearly this would appeal to dh and the story's appeal resonanted even more since much of it is set in places with which dh has a connection. He found, lying in the stacks of books we have around the house, the ideal one to entice him back into the hours of concentration required to read a book.

Signs of progress to praise

• has greater control when frustrated;
• exhibits more empathy;
• showing more reasoning power;
• has better day to day memory;
• initiating conversation with content greater than social niceties;
• initiating participation with others in household chores;
• also initiating some household chores independently, and
• an instance of independently returning to computer work after a break.

And I'm just starting to read a series of essays by Floyd Skloot, who suffered marked brain damage from a bout of viral encephalitis. He describes his struggles so simply and profoundly, I'll be reading In the Shadow of Memory to our children.

Cool videos on brain function

"Neuroanatomist Jill Bolte Taylor had an opportunity few brain scientists would wish for: One morning, she realized she was having a massive stroke. As it happened -- as she felt her brain functions slip away one by one, speech, movement, understanding -- she studied and remembered every moment. This is a powerful story about how our brains define us and connect us to the world and to one another. "

And here's a test for you: follow instructions and try again for a big surprise.

http://view.break.com/470052 - Watch more free videos

More, better Ping Pong

Thank you, Julio, for your enthusiasm, creativity, and care. Best wishes in your new position.

Below, see more left-handed ping pong, but use of arm is much freer (see post on January 13).

Progress seen through photos

February 2007, before tracheotomy

April 2007 at TIRR

June 2007 at home

February 2008

Anniversary

Our saga started exactly one year ago today. I've been stunned, scared, and sad. More often, though, I've been grateful. Thank God for dh's progress and thanks to all who have stood by us and offered support in so many ways.

In the past few days, I've had friends note that dh seems warmer, more "there," and more aware of others. His physical therapist has seen immense improvement in the kind and amount of exercises dh's able to do. He's initiating more and showing more abstract thought.

Blessings!

Therapeutic riding

Years ago, dh and I lived in the country, where we had horses and rode all the time. Here's a photo of dh from those days.

I had known of riding for the handicapped then and, with the help of a friend who teaches at one such facility, had dh evaluated late in 2007. Though there's a long waiting list, dh was able to start this spring, hooray!

Here are a couple of short videos of dh's first lesson at SIRE, which offers certified therapeutic riding and hippotherapy near us.

The physical and emotional benefits of horseback riding have been known for several hundred years. In particular, the horse’s gait replicates the correct position of the human body in a walk, helping retrain movement in the rider's trunk and retraining a senseof balance. At SIRE, certified instructors serve more than 185 clients weekly through programs which include therapeutic riding, carriage driving, vaulting and hippotherapy. Clients report great improvements in gross and fine motor skills, balance and posture. So much more than just sitting on the back of a horse, for the only time in their lives, these children and adults are able to move through space, with a freedom of movement and sense of accomplishment that changes lives.

More progress

Recently I asked dh to help find something our son lost. A few months ago, ever agreeable, he would say "yes, I'll help," then he promptly would sit down without making ANY effort to do what he said he would do. He since has progressed to where he would have made a cursory attempt, but not stay focused or on task. Now, though, he agreed and then immediately went to our son and asked him where he last had the notebook. Dh systematically looked in all the likely places, persisting until I told him to not bother anymore. (We still haven't found the notebook!)

And another - one of dh's chores is to unload the dishwasher. Each morning, ten minutes after unloading it, he won't remember. So when I ask about it, dh will go and unload it again, even if the dishes are now the next load waiting to be washed. He's on a single track, "unload the washer," and doesn't catch on to whether unloading makes sense (such as when you're putting a peanut butter encrusted knife back into the silverware drawer).

But yesterday, when dh was unloading the washer, he picked up a bowl, showed it to me and remarked, "This isn't clean, I'll put it back in to be washed again."

Just a few days ago, when he was at his sister's, he observed a disagreement between her and her 18 year old daughter. After the teenager left, dh made appropriate empathetic remarks to his sister and noted we're about to have a teenager in our house, too.

And dh spontaneously remembered, without ANY prompting, that our son had to be at church early this week for his baptism, remembering about 6 days after Mark last heard the schedule.

I'm very grateful for all these signs of progress. Especially grateful since I am making a conscious effort to turn dh's recovery entirely over to God. Dh and I have been working very hard, but I've come to acknowledge that our hard work isn't enough. In some ways, I feel as though I had been getting in God's way, picking up burdens that are not mine to bear. And God has been very good to us.

Another Recovery

A TBI caregiver's story, from the online support group TBI Together -

She starts her letter:
It's been a very, very, very long 20 months since my husband's fall off his ladder (and subsequent coma for about a month). He was hospitalized for over 5 months. And when I first brought him home in October 2006 ... he couldn't walk. He was in diapers, he needed to be fed most of the time, he couldn't talk very well. He had horrible behavioral problems and my arms and upper trunk were usually covered in black and blue marks.

This caregiver continues,
here we are, all this time later, and I have to tell you all, life DOES get BETTER. Dean is walking with a cane now, he speaks very well and even wrote a long letter to his sister in a birthday card. (He remembered her birthday without any help from me.) .... He's just finished reading his first FULL LENGTH book since the accident!

He rides his tractor to plow out the driveway .... He participated fully in our Christmas celebrations (even getting our son and daughter-in-law to take him shopping for presents for ME!) And his behavior is under control. .... He tells me he loves me often! Truly, my cup runneth over. And life IS getting better, better everyday. And to think he hasn't even reached his 2-year anniversary yet.

And she concluded her email saying,
I keep"talking" with people who have either survived TBI or have cared for loved ones with TBI and the message is ALWAYS the same. Two years is nothing. Improvements continue and continue and continue. ... I wanted to provide our story and to give hope to those just starting. Of course, there are times when life continues to be difficult, but there are so many more times when life is delightful. Who could ask for more?

Let's play a game

For your viewing pleasure, a video of dh playing ping pong using his affected left side.
This was filmed during a occupational therapy session, January 2007. Occupational therapy focuses on the upper body and skills for daily life.

Christmas presents

Dh walked the dog with me today using his new tricycle. This season has been nothing short of amazing, with this only one example. Friends have blessed us with good wishes and with many unexpected gifts for me and the children. Dh's sister, brother-in-law and mother gave me the gift of a break. Dh did wonderfully well at his sister's house, while the kids and I spent some restful days out of state with my sister. Dh has come so far and the improvements have even sped up recently. With some of our Christmas money (thanks friends and neighbors!), I bought a Nintendo DS with brain training software, and Mindfit and Brain Fitness for the PC. And dh's doing these with minimal assistance from me (mainly just keeping him on task). I've experienced many things to give me hope: dh's behavior, the amazing stories others have shared, convictions in my prayers and prayers of others, and the stories in a fantastic book, The Brain that Changes Itself: Stories of Personal Triumph from the Frontiers of Brain Science.